I am dumb

Let me scare you first: A “computer” is defined as any electronic, magnetic, optical, or other high-speed data processing device or system which performs logical, arithmetic, and memory functions by manipulations of electronic, magnetic, or optical impulses.

Turn me ON

Picture this: We’ve got smartphones smarter than half the people I know, self-driving cars that promise to whisk us away without a hitch, and AI chatbots that can write poetry or solve math problems faster than I can remember my wive’s birthday. Yet, for all their silicon-brained glory, these things can’t even turn themselves on. No, really, try it. Unplug your laptop, set it on the table, and command it to boot up with the sheer force of your will. Nada. Zilch. It just sits there, a lifeless brick of plastic and circuits, mocking you until you, the almighty human, deign to press that little power button. It’s like inventing a car that requires you to push it downhill to start the engine. Genius? Hardly. It’s the technological equivalent of a pet rock.

For heavens sake, I am holding one in my hand, there a couple of these dumb things on my desk that sometimes ask me to prove that I am a human being : remember captcha??

And now, we’re all hyped up about artificial intelligence and machine learning. Oh boy, the future is here! Machines that “think,” algorithms that “learn” from data, robots that might one day take over the world (or at least my laundry). But let’s pump the brakes on that hype train. To what avail, I ask? We’re pouring billions into making these dumb boxes mimic human thought, but at the end of the day, they still need us, the squishy, fallible, coffee-fueled humans to flip the switch, input the data, debug the glitches, and basically babysit the whole operation. It’s like teaching a goldfish to do calculus: impressive party trick, but the fish still needs you to clean its bowl and sprinkle the flakes. So, here’s my witty plea to the world: Let’s celebrate our own gray matter a bit more. Next time your device acts up, give yourself a pat on the back for being the one who can actually fix it, or at least yell at customer support creatively. Computers might be evolving, but they’ll always be one power button away from irrelevance. Until they figure out how to turn themselves on (and no, auto-wake features don’t count—that’s still us setting the rules), I’ll be over here, chuckling at the irony of it all.