One more Time

Have you ever sailed so far into the Arabian Sea that the Indian coastline disappears behind you? No land in sight, no familiar shore to return to, just an endless stretch of water and the sound of the wind filling your sails. To stand at the helm, with the sea before you and the world temporarily forgotten. To feel that extraordinary freedom of being answerable to no one but yourself. I want to experience that feeling once more. Just once.

Once more...

I want to watch the horses thunder past at the Jaipur Polo Ground, to hear the pounding of their hooves and feel the excitement of the crowd. I want another leisurely winter afternoon in Old Delhi, savouring kebabs in the lanes around Jama Masjid, with nowhere particular to go and no reason to hurry. I want to watch the sunset over Lake Pichola in Udaipur, a glass of wine in my hand and another waiting to be poured. I want the tenderness of a woman's embrace, the warmth of her body against cool cotton sheets, and the comforting knowledge that, for that moment, nothing else matters.

I want one more evening of soulful ghazals, the sort that make you close your eyes because the words hurt a little too much. I want to stand in the Himalayas, a cigar between my fingers, feeling the morning sun warm my face while the mountains stretch endlessly before me. Walk the ramparts of Kumbhalgarh. Watch the first light fall upon the ghats of Varanasi. Lose myself in the painted havelis of Shekhawati. Sit beneath an old neem tree on a quiet afternoon, reading a good book, occasionally looking up for no particular reason. I want a little more time for the things I once believed could always wait.

I long not for another lifetime, but for one more moment when life felt endless and sleep came without a care.

But more than the places, the pleasures, the journeys and even the people, I want to sleep. Not the restless sleep that comes in fragments, interrupted by thoughts that refuse to leave. I want to sleep as I slept when I was a little boy, when the night held no worries and tomorrow was something I never had to think about. That deep, innocent, undisturbed sleep, when the world could wait until morning. Give me that again. Just one night. Just once.